THE LIGHT BECOMES HER (PART 4 of 5)
Women are often viewed as feminist or aggressive if they ruffle feathers, speak out of turn or vie for change in masculine dominated places – work environments, political, judicial, financial systems. We’re met with pushback or spoken of behind closed doors in disrespectful tones for testing the status quo, or questioning antiquated ideas and broken systems. If we’re not being spoken of as a sex object, then we’re annoying, pushy, ugly, or aggressive. I’m not saying this is all of the time. But more often than not, I have known many men to be this way behind closed curtains. It’s disappointing.
The last man I partnered with that I thought I would spend the rest of my life with called me “an unkind, selfish, psychopath, abusive narcissist who uses people.” This was the first time I had ever had someone speak those words to me. Ever. This is someone I loved generously, took care of during a near cancer scare, and gave my time and talents to in many capacities, including setting up relationships that have profited him greatly. I was left with nothing except tainted relationships from his warped perspective and divisive words. My very clear observation was that he viewed me as a reflection of his own mind. Poor guy. His perspective held no merit and needed no defending from my side. The truth doesn’t need defending. Someone who acts abusively, aggressively and unfairly, will find that a relationship with me isn’t going to work.
Society finds outspoken women that express any derivative of displeasure or exposing tucked away truths as noisy, irritable, or burdensome. I’ve heard men speak of women, “All she does is complain. She’ll never be happy.” Their nuisance mindset, with or without an audience, permeates into society, shaming and disrespecting women for their legitimate expressions.
It is essential to express your needs and use your words and actions to oppose what is wrong in this world. Stuffing things that need to be said deepen trauma and sadness. The consequence? Unexpressed anger and frustration become soul sickening, restricted inspiration, and loss of essence. Longstanding silenced and repressed anger turn to feelings of powerlessness and resignation; Loss of spirit, loss of life, loss of change.
Speaking about your experiences for others to hear flushes out injustice which can be healing, thus repairing traumas. Having a witness to a trauma that hears your story is the only way to dissolve it. This is why people spend money on therapy and plant medicine ceremonies. For healing.
Do not be silenced by anyone. The long-term consequence is too costly. It will take your soul and your joy.
I am releasing all of the toxicity, name-calling from harmful people, and unleashing my expression without apology. I am releasing damage inside of me that bonded me to trauma relationships. This, I am healing. There will be no more of that. Aho.
#befierceAF
#wieldingthefire
#transmutingdarktolight
#pinkhairsuperhero
Photo cred: Nico Sotomayor
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